proud dad
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Harley Jokes.....
- Thread starter MikeSomething
- Start date
MikeSomething
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Procharger
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Punisher99
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Well, if they made an airplane would you fly in it????
Frankie Booth
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You might be a harley rider if:
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If your bike leans further on it's sidestand than it does on the highway.....................................
If you are left in awe by the mechanical advantage of a doorknob..........................................
If your bike cost more than your house and has fewer wheels............................................ ...
If the output decibel number of your exhaust exceeds your horsepower
output number............................................ ....
If you have ever found a grasshopper in your beard.............................................
If you have ever blown your suspension----------------in your seat...........................................
If you get blown away by a moped............................................. ...
If you are unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light............................................. ......
If you don't wave to sportbike riders cause you don't want to drop your tools............................................. ......
If you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering flaws"............................................ .....
If you think running the 1/4 mile in mid 15's is really, really fast.............................................. ....
If "water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a wrecker...........................................
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If your bike leans further on it's sidestand than it does on the highway.....................................
If you are left in awe by the mechanical advantage of a doorknob..........................................
If your bike cost more than your house and has fewer wheels............................................ ...
If the output decibel number of your exhaust exceeds your horsepower
output number............................................ ....
If you have ever found a grasshopper in your beard.............................................
If you have ever blown your suspension----------------in your seat...........................................
If you get blown away by a moped............................................. ...
If you are unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light............................................. ......
If you don't wave to sportbike riders cause you don't want to drop your tools............................................. ......
If you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering flaws"............................................ .....
If you think running the 1/4 mile in mid 15's is really, really fast.............................................. ....
If "water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a wrecker...........................................
Those are great!
Harley Davidsons new add slogan....."Yesterdays technology, tomorrows prices!"
MikeSomething
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Bwahahahahaahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My freakin sides hurt from laughin so damn hard...
My freakin sides hurt from laughin so damn hard...
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
I'm a maniac.
I'm a maniac.
I believe that actually makes you the "spotter"
I call them the "white rabbit"... Gets those pesky officers in the open for me. 
killaessien
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04stretchedbusa
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I OWN A BUSA AND A CUSTOM BUILT HARLEY PLUS BET OTHER MEMBERS DO TO .I LOVE BOTH MY BIKES SO SOME OF YOU NEED TO GROW UP THIS AINT A SIGHT TO CUT OTHER BIKE BRANDS DOWN CAUSE A BIKE IS A BIKE NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.
Posted via Mobile Device
Posted via Mobile Device
Race with a Harley
I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed
to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really
twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to
speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that
say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".
I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those
big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where
handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.
I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could
catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and
cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him
was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.
Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the
mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly
got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd
manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but
when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His
horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me
more determined than ever.
My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever
until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an
instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of
his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before
the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.
But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I
stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the
canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see
him in my rear-view mirror.
Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles
before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I
was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the
tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more
than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was
not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had
preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.
I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled
so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh
cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...
I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed
to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really
twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to
speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that
say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".
I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those
big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where
handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.
I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could
catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and
cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him
was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.
Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the
mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly
got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd
manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but
when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His
horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me
more determined than ever.
My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever
until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an
instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of
his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before
the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.
But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I
stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the
canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see
him in my rear-view mirror.
Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles
before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I
was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the
tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more
than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was
not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had
preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.
I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled
so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh
cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...
Top 40 things you won't ever hear from a Harley rider
_________________________________________
40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for a thousand, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Hey, Peaches? I think we should sell the pickup and buy a minivan.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a martini.
35. We don't keep no firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Hey, Peaches? Did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and whole wheat toast instead of the biscuits and gravy.
25. Listen, Peaches. I love animals too, but we just don't need another dog.
24. Who gives a damn about NASCAR? Let's watch soccer!
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Nope. I’m going to have to say quits after this new ink. Ten tattoos is enough for any man.
21. Smoking is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at K-Mart today.
19. I wonder if I can get some quieter pipes?
18. Hand me that metric wrench there.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. "That's one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind."
15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
14. Light beer just tastes better.
13. Sturgis is too far to ride to.
12. Brass knuckles and chains are for sissies. I prefer kung-fu!
11. Hustler? No, I subscribe to National Geographic.
10. I shaved my beard because it made me look like an inbred redneck hill scoggin.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. Do these leather chaps make my ass look too big?
4. I'd like to open this annual meeting of the International Neurosurgery Association with a poem written by Robert Frost ...
3. I’m thinking of going back to school.
2. Those shorts really ought to be a little longer there, Peaches. I mean, hell, your ass is showing when you ride behind me.
... and the number one thing you will never hear a Harley owner say:
1. No more for me. I'm ridin'!
_________________________________________
40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for a thousand, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Hey, Peaches? I think we should sell the pickup and buy a minivan.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a martini.
35. We don't keep no firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Hey, Peaches? Did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and whole wheat toast instead of the biscuits and gravy.
25. Listen, Peaches. I love animals too, but we just don't need another dog.
24. Who gives a damn about NASCAR? Let's watch soccer!
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Nope. I’m going to have to say quits after this new ink. Ten tattoos is enough for any man.
21. Smoking is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at K-Mart today.
19. I wonder if I can get some quieter pipes?
18. Hand me that metric wrench there.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. "That's one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind."
15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
14. Light beer just tastes better.
13. Sturgis is too far to ride to.
12. Brass knuckles and chains are for sissies. I prefer kung-fu!
11. Hustler? No, I subscribe to National Geographic.
10. I shaved my beard because it made me look like an inbred redneck hill scoggin.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. Do these leather chaps make my ass look too big?
4. I'd like to open this annual meeting of the International Neurosurgery Association with a poem written by Robert Frost ...
3. I’m thinking of going back to school.
2. Those shorts really ought to be a little longer there, Peaches. I mean, hell, your ass is showing when you ride behind me.
... and the number one thing you will never hear a Harley owner say:
1. No more for me. I'm ridin'!
Reasons why Harley riders don't wave at other bikers
_______________________________
They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.
The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is easily upset by rapid hand movements.
Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just one hand!
They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.
They're too busy figuring out how to pay for next order of genuine Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to add up the cost).
If they really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.
They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.
_______________________________
They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.
The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is easily upset by rapid hand movements.
Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just one hand!
They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.
They're too busy figuring out how to pay for next order of genuine Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to add up the cost).
If they really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.
They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.
