There are many who would disagree with you, including Obama. Several very successful folks come from humble, sometimes troubled beginnings.
During my career I have worked with folks who can be coached, trained, developed towards growing and becoming very successful. Alternatively I have worked with folks who are determined to not listen, make bad decisions, allow their ego’s to drive decisions and in the end presented with great opportunities, they get fired and end up unemployed.
Right now, I am working with a guy who has five kids, lives from paycheck to paycheck, is a really good guy, hard worker but he has been fired four times in the last three years. I felt sorry for him and took him under my wing. I am starting to realize it is a lost cause. He is a man on a mission of his own, lives in a world of chaos by his own choice and takes absolutely no criticism, or advice from anyone.
Yes, look at most people who are
unsuccessful and there is something they can control that is mainly to blame. However, it's like looking at a football game and saying "I'm going to do that". Every player on that field is an exceptional person who won the DNA lottery for that application. So we don't want a culture where only exceptional people thrive.
Whether or not you agree with Obama's politics, clearly he was an exceptional guy. My sister met him when she was in law school and even then people introduced him as "This is Barrack, he's going to be president someday". That was back when being a CEO was a stretch for a Black person. On the other hand, Trump is a special guy too, and the winner of a completely different DNA lottery, haha.
When we look at people in bad childhood situations that manage to cross over into mainstream life and be successful there is a common thread: Their parents (or in many cases parent), managed to insulate them from the cancerous cultures around them. It's easier for athletes because sports are more or less all-consuming time-wise. Also being an athlete makes a kid the physical type A's. But it is very difficult to raise an intellectually oriented person in a bad environment (doctor, lawyer, business person, etc.).
When I talk to disadvantaged young people it's clear they don't realize the game they are playing. Thugs live about 20-30 years. After that, they are either dead or permanently incarcerated and out of the mainstream game. So they can be rich, but wealth is being sustainably rich. A lot of these kids don't understand what being wealthy is. Thug rich basically means always being worried about money. It's a feverish treadmill-on-high experience where you are always desperately searching for the next score. Being wealthy means not having to worry about money.
The important thing about wealth here is that it doesn't mean you can buy a fleet of Lamborghinis. It means you can live within your means. Most people don't realize that most of the bad decisions we make have a financial component. Upset your financial equilibrium and you become a slave to debt. You can't move up in life until you understand this. It's a hard sell to kids though who idolize gold chains and bling. Today every kid wants to be famous (viral) when success usually means being anonymous to all but those who need to know you or that you want to be known by.
Whenever you talk to kids about their future, they are focused on the things that will stop them. Race, being poor, being outside the good old boy network, it's easier for White people. But if you let the possibility of those things be your obstacles, then you are in effect oppressing yourself. It's like the proverbial elephant tied to a stake with a thread. Life is about overcoming obstacles and you have to consider everything just another obstacle to be overcome.
So, yes I have also encountered those rock heads that just can't play by the rules (written and unwritten) and they want the world to roll over for them. The resources I have to help people are limited, so I cut ties and move on to the next person.