How long to wean son off of money tree

[afterhours]

We sat down today and talked. I let him read the posts and replys. We tried to figure out exactly how much we were paying. He says he will try to start helping.
He was hurt that I felt that way and more so that I asked the Busa org for their input.
Says he feels ashame that all of you know our situation and does not know if he can show face at the Bash,
I told him no one would look down on him and he was a part of the bash as everyone is
Love to ride with him Time will tell If he starts to pull some more of his own weight
Thanks again everyone

thats good.

there is still a chance for him to change. a little embarrassment, a little shame is good every now and then. it help keep us on the right path.

being a Father is hard, making a boy into a man is even harder. your job is a tough one, and it sounds as if you have been taking the easy way out for quite a while. this did not start when your boy turned 21, he was spoiled by you and your wife for a long time.

you and your wife should share some of the shame, and you should have a talk with the wife as well. She needs to understand why your son needs to "man-up".....she still sees her baby boy that needs to be protected. explain to your wife that her grandchild needs a Father, a strong man to raise him /her....

stay strong.......remember, moms are moms but it takes a man to raise a man.


not trying to pile on, i know your situtaion is a tough one.

 

[majestic12]

I understand wanting to support your son.
My brother lost his job. My parents didn't want to see him lose his house and wanted to help him keep it. They also didn't want to give him a hand out. They knew he would not accept it anyway. The came up with the idea he would work for them. He rebuilt a patio cover which oldman winter knocked down and, reapainted the house. His father inlaw is not inclined to do construction so he got on the bandwagon and now has all the new floors he has wanted for years but could not put in himself.

Just a long way of saying you can help support him if his job is not paying well enough, but he can work for you or someone else. Let him see the value of money and possibly learn some new skills. Your wife might see this as a nice compromise.

 

[Mr Brown]

Glad he read it and understands. No reason to not want to show his face at the Bash, we have all made mistakes in our lives. Ain't nobody perfect. The measure of a man is not found in his mistakes, but rather in how he learns from them.

 

[majestic12]

Its strange how fast things change We were buddies for years now everything is different I miss the way it use to be

It might take a while but I think you can be buddies again. Now that he is trying to pull more of his weight things may be better friends.

One of my parents friends observed, "You put all this work into your kids from changing them as babys to helping them with homework. Just when they become fun to hang around they move out." I hope things get better for you and your son soon.

 

[Macfast]

Thanks again for everyone supporting and chiming in We all have issues did me good to talk about it

 

[semi]

this isn't the time for him to hang his head and be ashamed, he needs to look life in the eye and take it on one day at a time...we have all had to start over a time or two and admit we may not have done the best we could

the important thing is how he handles himself from this point forward as he can not change the past...he has always appeared to be an excellent young man at the Bash's and i have no doubt he is going to learn from this and become an even better person