Hey Jinx, how is your daughter doing? Any updates? I am very sorry this happened my friend.
Lost My 17 Year Old Daughter Off the Back...
- Thread starter JINKSTER
- Start date
Did I read in your story that you did not take her to the hospital until the next day? Why? The cost involved? I am always amazed when I travel into the States the number of riders who dont wear gear,not even a helmet.
Yes, its your choice,but a very very selfish,uncaring choice. It's not YOU the rider who has to pick up the slack when you go down, its everyone around you. You suck everyone else into your "choice."
From paying for treatment,time off work, to helping with recovery, it is a pebble that casts very widespread ripples. It's sad. But there are the small group of posers who wear their road rash as a badge of honor.
All my best wishes go to you and your daughter. What you have been going through is enough of a reprimand without anyone here scolding you as well.
I didn't see the pics, but I don't have to to know the horror of road rash. I feel badly for you that unlike a broken leg or arm, they heal without leaving a mark or scar ( usually) but those rash scars will be there to remind you every day now for the rest of your lives.
It's harder to move on when those stare you in the face everyday.
Take care,brother and sister,hope your family is coping as best they can.
Yes, its your choice,but a very very selfish,uncaring choice. It's not YOU the rider who has to pick up the slack when you go down, its everyone around you. You suck everyone else into your "choice."
From paying for treatment,time off work, to helping with recovery, it is a pebble that casts very widespread ripples. It's sad. But there are the small group of posers who wear their road rash as a badge of honor.
All my best wishes go to you and your daughter. What you have been going through is enough of a reprimand without anyone here scolding you as well.
I didn't see the pics, but I don't have to to know the horror of road rash. I feel badly for you that unlike a broken leg or arm, they heal without leaving a mark or scar ( usually) but those rash scars will be there to remind you every day now for the rest of your lives.
It's harder to move on when those stare you in the face everyday.
Take care,brother and sister,hope your family is coping as best they can.
moloko
Banned
From the story it sounds like you slowed down considerably, she likely loosened her grip and wasn't prepared for take off.
Really REALLY sorry to hear about the incident. I'm not going to get into wearing gear or not wearing gear... as I have gear I wear 'sometimes'
I think something we can ALL take from this as drivers.. make sure your passenger is secure BEFORE hitting the throttle, and as passengers NEVER be lax on your grip.
My best to you and your family, hope recovery goes well and she isn't put off from riding again.
Really REALLY sorry to hear about the incident. I'm not going to get into wearing gear or not wearing gear... as I have gear I wear 'sometimes'
I think something we can ALL take from this as drivers.. make sure your passenger is secure BEFORE hitting the throttle, and as passengers NEVER be lax on your grip.
My best to you and your family, hope recovery goes well and she isn't put off from riding again.
eric wiseman
Registered
You never forget a gun to a gunfight, and it's never to hot for gear. Hands don't touch grips without gloves and the bike doesn't move without a jacket and helmet.
Dang hard lesson to learn but a life lesson for sure.
Dang hard lesson to learn but a life lesson for sure.
badazgtp
Registered
Prayers to you and your daughter. I am so sorry to hear this happened. I have a 10 yr old daughter that wants to ride with me. The answer to her is always no, not to I get her full gear. Now I am thinking of even making a backrest for her to keep her from sliding. Thnak you for sharing this. And don't be so hard on yourself, stuff happens.
jpowell490
Registered
Jinks,
I didn't bother to read all the ridiculous posts on this thread, but don't beat yourself up. It could have happened to anyone. Armchair quarterbacks are rampant on the internet and this forum.
Honestly, I don't blame your daughter, I wouldn't have worn that jacket either. I know it is hotter in Florida than TN, but let me tell you, it has been at least 97 degrees here with 80-85% humidity. Absolutely miserable, I start sweating being outside for 5 minutes.
Everyone preaches gear, gear, gear, and hey it is great and does protect. Anyone short of the devil couldn't stand riding in that type of gear in this heat, there ain't no way.
Your daughter loves you and she knows it was an accident. Don't punish her by not letting her ride with you again and don't you be scared to let her ride with you again. It was an accident, the only thing you will teach her by not letting her go is to be scared of motorcycles in general. It will also teach her to be afraid of everything if she gets a bit scuffed up or scared.
Put her back on the seat when she is ready and you don't be hesitant to ride with her. Just ride normal and slowly work your way up with her. She will hold on tighter next time and I am sure she learned to not let go of her grip while she is on it.
You did nothing wrong, don't even give it a second thought.
I didn't bother to read all the ridiculous posts on this thread, but don't beat yourself up. It could have happened to anyone. Armchair quarterbacks are rampant on the internet and this forum.
Honestly, I don't blame your daughter, I wouldn't have worn that jacket either. I know it is hotter in Florida than TN, but let me tell you, it has been at least 97 degrees here with 80-85% humidity. Absolutely miserable, I start sweating being outside for 5 minutes.
Everyone preaches gear, gear, gear, and hey it is great and does protect. Anyone short of the devil couldn't stand riding in that type of gear in this heat, there ain't no way.
Your daughter loves you and she knows it was an accident. Don't punish her by not letting her ride with you again and don't you be scared to let her ride with you again. It was an accident, the only thing you will teach her by not letting her go is to be scared of motorcycles in general. It will also teach her to be afraid of everything if she gets a bit scuffed up or scared.
Put her back on the seat when she is ready and you don't be hesitant to ride with her. Just ride normal and slowly work your way up with her. She will hold on tighter next time and I am sure she learned to not let go of her grip while she is on it.
You did nothing wrong, don't even give it a second thought.
Wayneovich
Registered
Sorry to hear man I hope she makes a full recovery. This is a hard lesson to learn.
Man Bill, I am very sorry that happened.... I am not in any place to pass a judgement and won't--- I just hate it happened- and am thankful it didn't turn out any worse than it did... I think I probably get laughed at sometimes for wearing all my gear (and burning up like you are talking about)--- here in MS it is brutal during the summer too....but all it takes is the one instance when you need it....if you don't have it we all know what the turnout can be.... I'll pray for you both
bazooki
Registered
First off, there aren't a bunch of ridiculous comments. Most posters are very supportive and even those that are critical have good points to make. Secondly, the passenger has no options in what gear they choose to wear or not wear. That is solely up to the owner/rider of the bike. If the passenger chooses not to wear the gear then they don't get on the back, period. Third, to say it was an accident and that he did nothing wrong is just silly. It was an incident that was the result of two bad decisions, not wearing proper gear and accelerating too hard for the passenger on the back whether they were expecting it or not.
Everybody does stupid things at one point whether its in a car or on a bike and we all learn from them. I remember showing off the power of my GS750ES to a passenger and finding out on a high speed corner that this guy had no experience on the back of a bike and was counterleaning in the corner....it was all I could do to get the bike leaned over and avoid drifting right into the curb and crashing....scared the crap out of me and I never did that again! This whole story reminds me of why I never ride on the back of anyone elses bike. I just don't trust the pilot enough.
I give you a lot of credit for posting this and I really feel for you and your daughter in relation to her injuries. I hope she heals up soon.
1stly?...thank you ALL so much for your deep understanding and words of encouragement about not beating myself up too bad cause..i think i have been...matter fact?...most of last week i couldn't even look at my daughter without my eyes welling up with tears...it hurts bad...real bad..but then i hafta remind myself that it prolly doesnt hurt as bad as i hurt my own daughter..then it just turns into a viscious circle of pain...been drinking and self medicating just to live with myself and sleep at night..and it sux..cause this ain't me..and those of you who know me personally?..know thats true...been begging god to help and forgive me for my own stupidity.
2ndly?...please don't be too hard on those who have chastised me in this thread cause the truth is?..if i had have read this same shid happening to someone else?..i'd of been rather harsh towards them as well..it was a stupid move and i deserve a foot or two up my azz...at least the love part is still in the "Tuff Love"...over some dumb shid that i even knew better and will never, EVER...repeat.
3rdly?...many of you have requested reposting of the injury pix..some even "special request" pm'ed me for them..adding such comments as "not meaning to be a perv or anything" and i know that's true..you'd like to show your loved ones that ride with you what CAN and DOES happen when you slack off on your safety gear/standards...well...here's what i'm going to do..as soon as Marissa comes home?..I'm gonna have her read this entire thread...and then?..i'm going to have hetr decide what pix she would like to post up for you all and if i know my daughter?..none of you will be disappointed and we both hope it helps even if it saves just one of you the experience and/or the aggravation of dealing with loved ones who wanna ride jacketless cause "it's too hot"...tough shid...stand your ground..mak'em suffer...and KNOW...your in the right and doing the right thing.
Lastly?...someone here questioned why i didn't take her to the ER until the following morning and the short answer is?..she refused to go and her mother backed her up and wouldn't let me take her...citing that shes got a high tolerance for pain and Marissa herself was trying to make light of it all..and truth be known?..i think they were more worried about me (with my bills and all) and fearing dad might stroke out over this whole ordeal...i told them they were wrong and that Marissa doesn't have a high tolerance for pain and that imo?..she's in freaking shock!..and when she wakes up tomoorrow morning?..the pain is going to be unbearable and she aint gonna have nothing but what?..freaking asperin?...well..they didnt let me take her and sure enough?..9:00am the following morning i got a call from my oldest daughter at work..which is when i left work immediatly and rushed her to the ER..and the following day?...i took off work 1/2 the day to take her to the follow up care Plastic Surgeon/Wound Specialist...who upon review let us know she didnt need any skin graphs and should be fully healed up in 2-3 weeks with NO life long scars but some discoloration for a year or two when sunbathing.
whelp?..marissa just got home...i'm gonna have her read this thread and post what pix she feels comfy posting...best i can do folks and again..thank you all so much for your kind words..understanding...support...and?..well...just being there for us in our time of need.
Thanks & L8R, Bill.
2ndly?...please don't be too hard on those who have chastised me in this thread cause the truth is?..if i had have read this same shid happening to someone else?..i'd of been rather harsh towards them as well..it was a stupid move and i deserve a foot or two up my azz...at least the love part is still in the "Tuff Love"...over some dumb shid that i even knew better and will never, EVER...repeat.
3rdly?...many of you have requested reposting of the injury pix..some even "special request" pm'ed me for them..adding such comments as "not meaning to be a perv or anything" and i know that's true..you'd like to show your loved ones that ride with you what CAN and DOES happen when you slack off on your safety gear/standards...well...here's what i'm going to do..as soon as Marissa comes home?..I'm gonna have her read this entire thread...and then?..i'm going to have hetr decide what pix she would like to post up for you all and if i know my daughter?..none of you will be disappointed and we both hope it helps even if it saves just one of you the experience and/or the aggravation of dealing with loved ones who wanna ride jacketless cause "it's too hot"...tough shid...stand your ground..mak'em suffer...and KNOW...your in the right and doing the right thing.
Lastly?...someone here questioned why i didn't take her to the ER until the following morning and the short answer is?..she refused to go and her mother backed her up and wouldn't let me take her...citing that shes got a high tolerance for pain and Marissa herself was trying to make light of it all..and truth be known?..i think they were more worried about me (with my bills and all) and fearing dad might stroke out over this whole ordeal...i told them they were wrong and that Marissa doesn't have a high tolerance for pain and that imo?..she's in freaking shock!..and when she wakes up tomoorrow morning?..the pain is going to be unbearable and she aint gonna have nothing but what?..freaking asperin?...well..they didnt let me take her and sure enough?..9:00am the following morning i got a call from my oldest daughter at work..which is when i left work immediatly and rushed her to the ER..and the following day?...i took off work 1/2 the day to take her to the follow up care Plastic Surgeon/Wound Specialist...who upon review let us know she didnt need any skin graphs and should be fully healed up in 2-3 weeks with NO life long scars but some discoloration for a year or two when sunbathing.
whelp?..marissa just got home...i'm gonna have her read this thread and post what pix she feels comfy posting...best i can do folks and again..thank you all so much for your kind words..understanding...support...and?..well...just being there for us in our time of need.
Thanks & L8R, Bill.
Okay Folks...for your health and safety and that of family members and all co-riders?...here's the injury pix forwarded to my email off marissas cell phone...sans "Boobs hangin Out"..which they weren't...shes just well built and eats healthy...so to speak...
1st?...her back..the largest of the rasberries...
her left arm...
her right shoulder...
her right arm...
2 days after on percosets...
thats all folks...and she read all 5 pages...thanks..i think it helped..and?..
L8R, Bill.
1st?...her back..the largest of the rasberries...
her left arm...
her right shoulder...
her right arm...
2 days after on percosets...
thats all folks...and she read all 5 pages...thanks..i think it helped..and?..
L8R, Bill.
Ouch
ouch
ouch
and ouch
Just don't let her develop a habit on those pain pills .
Times like this is when folks get used to them and begin habits .
ouch
ouch
and ouch
Just don't let her develop a habit on those pain pills .
Times like this is when folks get used to them and begin habits .
man that one on the right elbow area looks painful.
you seem to be a good dude and father, just remember this doesnt lessen either of them in the slightest, just reminds you that you are human and will screw up from time to time.
hope for a fast recovery, and try not to beat yourself up too hard, maybe some good will come and others will think twice about the dangers of no gear.
you seem to be a good dude and father, just remember this doesnt lessen either of them in the slightest, just reminds you that you are human and will screw up from time to time.
hope for a fast recovery, and try not to beat yourself up too hard, maybe some good will come and others will think twice about the dangers of no gear.
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