Its time to vent about my marriage...

[Pardini]

I'd say move on. Being stressed is one thing and understandable, but the way it sounds she treats you goes beyond that excuse. Fast forward 5 or 10 years, jobs, kids, bills, house and a thousand other things that strain a marriage, what do you see happening?

The way she treats you isn't going to stop if it's as bad as you say, it's always going to be something. She has no respect for you. Cut your losses while it's still relatively easy, before it gets complicated with kids, etc. If the two of you are that far apart at this point in your marriage at 22, your going to continue to grow apart. Your young, find someone that makes you happy all the time, not just once in a while. Don't waste 5 years trying to appease her before you call it quits, that's going to be 5 more years of misery. She's not happy either, what's the point?

 

[mrsBusawhipped]

- TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS - OTIS REDDING (1966)[/url]

Listen to the words. Can't go wrong with a little Otis Redding!

Maybe you can meet half way for a mini vacation.

Yall, need FACE time! Marriage is a work in progress, constantly, until death do you part! It is about give and take, COMPROMISE. You BOTH have to be willing to do that. Sometimes you may be the one doing all the giving and sometimes it will be the other way. It isn't "even stevens" so to speak, but it all works out in the end if you love and support each other through the good and the bad! Otherwise you grow apart and are miserable like you are now. It can be fixed, but you both have to want it and you BOTH have to work at it.

Maybe send her some flowers because she is your beautiful wife.

Good luck and prayers sent!

 

[Josh]

Meet in the middle. If she won't do that, do what you want and let her be mad. No sense sweating all the time over things you can't really fix. You know her. Is it because she's stressed, or is she just built to destroy? Those are fun, but you don't marry them.

It took me a long time to find one and man, if you're miserable more than you're happy, she's not the one. Her happiness isn't your only responsibility. She's gotta shoulder some of the load. That whole sitting on video cam from the time you get home from work until bedtime made every fibre of my being reject what I was reading. That's no way to live.

 

[BA BUSA]

Do you have weekends off ???

Go see her you idiot...YOU drive the 10 hours and spend some time with your WIFE. I don't care if you only have time to give her a hug and a kiss...step up and make the effort doood!!!


And yes I did say idiot...you're 22...nothing personal brudda
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[busabeast]

January... and i wont see her again til May. she refused to drive up here on her spring break cause she "cant handle" a 10 hour drive and plane tickets were too outrageous. I dont have alot of leave because i used a week in november and over two weeks in december...

'can't handle' a ten hour drive? to see the person whom she is supposed to spend the rest of her life with?? DUDE!! That's way f'ed up!!
personally, it sounds to me like she is moving beyond the marraige, and is secretely wanting to call it quits... but i'm kinda a pessimist anyways...

at this point, she gets a big 'FAIL'--- i'd move on...somewhere there is a girl who would drive from alaska to brazil to spend an hour with you...
i know cause mine would drive that to see me...

 

[RussellJ]

Do you have weekends off ???

Go see her you idiot...YOU drive the 10 hours and spend some time with your WIFE. I don't care if you only have time to give her a hug and a kiss...step up and make the effort doood!!!


And yes I did say idiot...you're 22...nothing personal brudda
Posted via Mobile Device

10 hours is way out of bounds to see her on a normal weekend. I literally cant. its not that i do not choose to.... My command wont let me. farthest i can go is 250 air miles in any direction. anything outside of that needs to be approved but 700 miles on a normal weekend wont be for sure. I have to get special approval from the company commanding officer just to drive that far on a 4 day weekend... and "Out of Bounds Request"

 

[GsxrBots]

couple points: You're 22 and matured for how many fewer years than that, you may live to 80 and learn more, experience more and grow more until then... Love of your life?
going with poor choice of words.

I say that marriage was a poor choice being that young. If you are meant to be, no point jumping the gun. But now that you are in it you BOTH gotta work at it.

I disagree with this. I got married at 22, and 13 years later, I'm happier than I was then. We have been together for 18 years though. Age has nothing to do with maturity or more importantly love. The religion thing can turn into a real problem if you are VERY religious, and she isn't religious at all. Religion does strange things to many people. I also don't think its healthy how you guys don't see each other. Is trust an issue between the two of you? Do you trust her? She you?

 

[RussellJ]

I disagree with this. I got married at 22, and 13 years later, I'm happier than I was then. We have been together for 18 years though. Age has nothing to do with maturity or more importantly love. The religion thing can turn into a real problem if you are VERY religious, and she isn't religious at all. Religion does strange things to many people. I also don't think its healthy how you guys don't see each other. Is trust an issue between the two of you? Do you trust her? She you?

Yeah trust is not an issue at all surprisingly. It was at first with me years ago but not anymore. I dont go anywhere I go to my uncles or stay in my room. Maybe go riding or see MC Mustang every now and then but that is it I have no life because i spend the time in not at work or out on video chat with her . Even when I am at my uncles half the time when i dont work on the busa there i take my laptop and talk to her online or video chat also...

 

[BA BUSA]

10 hours is way out of bounds to see her on a normal weekend. I literally cant. its not that i do not choose to.... My command wont let me. farthest i can go is 250 air miles in any direction. anything outside of that needs to be approved but 700 miles on a normal weekend wont be for sure. I have to get special approval from the company commanding officer just to drive that far on a 4 day weekend... and "Out of Bounds Request"

Well then you need to get the approval...your marriage depends on you spending some time with your wife...you go see her now...and she comes to visit you in May.

Work it out with her, but YOU take the first step to close the gap between the two of you.
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[Josh]

Yeah trust is not an issue at all surprisingly. It was at first with me years ago but not anymore. I dont go anywhere I go to my uncles or stay in my room. Maybe go riding or see MC Mustang every now and then but that is it I have no life because i spend the time in not at work or out on video chat with her . Even when I am at my uncles half the time when i dont work on the busa there i take my laptop and talk to her online or video chat also...

Does she get upset with you if you're not instantly available for video chat at all times?

 

[dadofthree]

Meet her half way. Men will never understand the mind of a woman.

 

[Dozerdriver]

This is just a thought... is she spending time with anyone else. It seems women will cause a lot of issues when they are done with a relationship instead of just saying the truth. A long distant relatioship is VERY hard to keep even if you are married. If you are young it becomes even harder... If your wife truly still loved you I don't see how she could be so hateful even with a hectic schedule. You two need to get together and have a serious talk... I hope you guys work things out but you shouldn't have to take the verbal abuse.

 

[busabeast]

This is just a thought... is she spending time with anyone else. It seems women will cause a lot of issues when they are done with a relationship instead of just saying the truth. A long distant relatioship is VERY hard to keep even if you are married. If you are young it becomes even harder... If your wife truly still loved you I don't see how she could be so hateful even with a hectic schedule. You two need to get together and have a serious talk... I hope you guys work things out but you shouldn't have to take the verbal abuse.

yeah, what he said^^^^^

 

[RussellJ]

Well then you need to get the approval...your marriage depends on you spending some time with your wife...you go see her now...and she comes to visit you in May.

Work it out with her, but YOU take the first step to close the gap between the two of you.
Posted via Mobile Device

Like i said i cant get approval... I will look and see if i can take a few days of leave soon even if its like 4. See whats retarded is you cant get approval on a two day weekend to go too far but if you take 3-4 days a leave they could care less where you go as long as you have a good plan on paper. Thats the marine corps for ya.

Does she get upset with you if you're not instantly available for video chat at all times?

She has at times, but not really. She has been upset on occassions. One scenario that has happened a few times:
I spent all day saturday on video chat with her spending time and watching movies with her (on Macs we have iChat theatre so you can see the person and watch a movie simultaneously like you are together which we do often cause its like spending time with each other). Then she knowing i was going to go work on the trailer sunday got real mad at me cause all i did was text her. Its an attention thing. That one above tho cause a few days of turmoil

 

[Busamomingrief]

Try FTD... FLOWERS And a nice card. Good luck.

 

[Dozerdriver]

Good luck...

- Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna[/url]

 

[RussellJ]

This is just a thought... is she spending time with anyone else. It seems women will cause a lot of issues when they are done with a relationship instead of just saying the truth. A long distant relatioship is VERY hard to keep even if you are married. If you are young it becomes even harder... If your wife truly still loved you I don't see how she could be so hateful even with a hectic schedule. You two need to get together and have a serious talk... I hope you guys work things out but you shouldn't have to take the verbal abuse.

Nope she has just about as much of a life as i do . only difference is she spends most of the time doing homework and studying...

Try FTD... FLOWERS And a nice card. Good luck.

Yeah that wouldnt be too bad of an idea. I do little stuff every now and then. I like to buy stuff she uses. Like i just sent her 100 bucks randomly specifically for her to get her hair done up nice. I pay for it anyway but its still like giving a gift cause i sent a little nice card with it before she even mentioned she wanted to get it done. If she mentions stuff she wants i try to get things... i like to do little stuff

 

[BA BUSA]

Take a few days leave...your all laid up and butt hurt anyway right?

Get the time off, don't tell her...just show up and spend some time with her...take her some flowers and tell her your sorry and get this shiayt settled.
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[Blanca BusaLess]

I'd say move on. Being stressed is one thing and understandable, but the way it sounds she treats you goes beyond that excuse. Fast forward 5 or 10 years, jobs, kids, bills, house and a thousand other things that strain a marriage, what do you see happening?

The way she treats you isn't going to stop if it's as bad as you say, it's always going to be something. She has no respect for you. Cut your losses while it's still relatively easy, before it gets complicated with kids, etc. If the two of you are that far apart at this point in your marriage at 22, your going to continue to grow apart. Your young, find someone that makes you happy all the time, not just once in a while. Don't waste 5 years trying to appease her before you call it quits, that's going to be 5 more years of misery. She's not happy either, what's the point?

This could be sound advice. Only you can tell.

 

[Josh]

She has at times, but not really. She has been upset on occassions. One scenario that has happened a few times:
I spent all day saturday on video chat with her spending time and watching movies with her (on Macs we have iChat theatre so you can see the person and watch a movie simultaneously like you are together which we do often cause its like spending time with each other). Then she knowing i was going to go work on the trailer sunday got real mad at me cause all i did was text her. Its an attention thing. That one above tho cause a few days of turmoil

You can't give all your attention to one person all the time, wife or not. Love her. Spend time with her. But having other things to do from time to time isn't a problem. Don't let her turn it into one. Be firm, but compassionate. If she loves you, she'll come around. If not, let her be the one who's butthurt. Sometimes a little unhappiness has a way of fixing itself, but both of you being all knotted up about it is bound to cause friction. Don't be mad. Just don't tolerate it.