Condolences on the situation. Sounds like a difficult situation at best.
My thoughts, perhaps a bit blunt, but as objective as possible:
Disclaimer: There's a lot of advice in this thread. Some good, some maybe not so good. We all have a different perspective, but remember that we're all just like you in the sense that there is no "magic solution" to any relationship, none of us are experts on relationships and even if we were, the only experts on ANY given relationship are really the two people in that relationship. So absorb the advice, taking much of it with a grain of salt (some of it with an entire salt shaker
and let it make you think and see various perspectives, but ultimately make your decisions based on your own thinking. Just like a good movie, what the critics say is only relevant in terms of your thinking. They can help you consider all aspects, but only you can decide what is good for you.
1) Any relationship in which all the partners can't generally treat each other with respect is unhealthy for all involved. It is entirely normal to be upset with each other, justly or otherwise, from time to time, but it is NEVER acceptable for one to suffer the ill will of another without cause. If such a situation persists, then the one who lays down out of reflex will always be in that position and the one doin' the steam-rolling will likely feel no need to change their behavior.
2) A private, undistracted face to face on the matter is recommended. Clearly define the issues, both yours and hers and find some common ground from which to move forward. If this can't be done, there is real trouble.
3) Kids have been mentioned. When a couple has an unfortunate relationship, that's one thing. When they have children, it becomes tragic. The worst relationship that can occur is for unhappy couples to have children. The children "learn" how to be unhappy, angry, hurtful, etc..., all the poor behavior exhibited by the parents and the parents are even LESS likely to end their relationship "for the sake of the kids". I'm all for two people workin' things out if they BOTH really want to and are willing to make the effort, but the WORST possible outcome is to poison children by simply resolving to endure a painful/unhappy relationship. The children are ALWAYS the innocent losers.
PS: If you have a major difference in religion, it MUST be resolved in terms of any children BEFORE they are conceived. If not, the chance for a happy household is woefully reduced.
4) Unfortunately, like others have mentioned, there are signs in her behavior that indicate that she may be involved with someone else or she may be looking to breakup but want to "inspire" you to drop that bomb. That said, she also may simply be immature, unable to control her emotions, not understand your behavior and get frustrated/angry/sad/overwhelmed, or she may simply be growing in a different direction and feel that you and her are not growing together (and I believe this is very common among couples that meet/marry under 30).
Bottom line, you have to evaluate what you really want in a relationship (and what is simply unacceptable) and a partner and she must do the same. Then you both must be able to discuss these things together and agree on how to proceed from there. The net result could be a "happily ever after" or it could end in breakup/divorce. The most important thing is that your honest with yourself about what's happened and what you want to happen and what you believe is possible or likely.
Sincerest best wishes on the matter.
Life is short. Choose to be happy.
